Week Nine: Nightmare Before November
Let me stress how much I don’t enjoy Halloween, it’s over rated to the damn core and it makes me not want to be any part of it and I don’t understand why people don’t understand that. It’s like the worst things to say to someone, telling them you hate Halloween is like the worst thing ever. I liked it when I was 10 but I’m sorry, I just don’t want to dress up anymore and be someone I am not, I feel fake and not me. It’s also another excuse for females to show as much skin as possible so of course it’s the best day ever for ‘non classy girls’….Even though girls do a hell of a job when it comes to costumes. What I also don’t understand is how the fuck is it under the category of a holiday…I mean maybe in Mexico but certainly not in Canada and by it being described as some type of holiday, it’s on the same level of Christmas and that is far from the truth. Anyways point is, I don’t like Halloween so I did NOT dress up, stop asking me.
Now that I got that out; I also want to say that when you hit the age of 19 plus, fighting is no longer cool or brave or tough unless its under legal rules. Besides that, it makes you look pretty damn low on the immature scale, so when I am now threatened to get in some form of fight, I feel sorry for that person who put that idea out there, it’s like they are still living in the past. I kept that shit in high school. So I will also not fight you unless it was under actual rules of fighting because there is no point in flexing in front of everyone, not like you get anything out of it, maybe a broken face…so tough. I only do things that satisfy me. That is all.
It’s been several weeks now and the months are counting down till I finally leave off this shit place. 7 months and counting and I am growing restless of everything and everyone, I am becoming a damn robot, and I need something…excitement…anything! 7 months…
So my birthday is coming up in 12 days and I am officially an adult on November 12 and it seems satisfying because I have been going through lots of changes and I think that’s what makes you an adult, not necessarily the age but more so the changing as not all 20-21 year olds are adults. With that said, you would think I have put together a great party but you are sadly mistaken because my life here is equivalent to being tied to a bed. With my ego and all, you would THINK, I would have SOMETHING going on but all I have is hope that it does turn out to at least satisfy some part of me…not really how the big 20 should go!
I know I try and be positive and I really do but it’s kind of hard to, in a place that it’s A-hard to trust people and B-the fact that I am there isn’t much to do anymore because I have done everything I could possibly do. I have come to realization about something though…or rather someone…Let’s just say, someone came back into my life in a way and this time I’ll hold on.
As for who ‘she’ is…that’s probably something I surprisingly am not gonna discuss with you right now. When the time is Right.
PS: I got a fortune cookie and it read: ‘great fortune is in your future’…..I guess I am doing something right.
