Week Ten: Tiger Twenty
As I write to you today, I am in the process of turning twenty, or is it an over night thing? Point is, today is my birthday and even though I can eat my cake if I want to, I really don’t want cake to celebrate a birthday, I want happiness and real friends that merely should be celebrated in style being, being a mile-stone ish and all. Maybe I am just lacking on some hardcore real friends who are willing to celebrate it with me like friends are suppose to do but I know longer expect that nice behavior from people.
Turning twenty is a mile stone for me, even if it shouldn’t be, I mean I have been alive for two decades, since the 1990’s and that’s pretty bad ass. I cant really remember the 90’s but what I do remember is big hair, keyboards and lots of Synth (flock of seagalls ?) and i guess that’s something to celebrate….being alive that long anyways cause now a days this world has gone to shit, that being alive is a stressing process but then again I guess I just have big things to conquer.
If you were to say I would be who I am in 2010…I would laugh because the truth is I have grown so much in the past year then I ever have in the past ten years. I guess that’s called ‘growing up’ but some things still stay the same anyways.
I wish it was 1998, and I was still a kid in Alberta with no worries, watching Ducktails and playing outside with computers (and/or Internet) only being available to the wealthy. I was so content back then that ‘caring’ was not in my book and now I feel like my heart has grown to the size of a brain that ‘not caring’ or at least ‘not acknowledging’ is now impossible, as everyone who seems to come into my life, I seem to form this mere relationship like they are sincerely here for me when really ‘who am I fooling?’.
Now that I am twenty its time to grow up, its time to stop the games and the bullshit..I want people to take me serious and I don’t mean anyone younger then 19, I am speaking business wise. I need a future and first step is ‘get people to take you serious’ and I guess that’s the perks to growing up.
I really wish I didn’t have to spend my birthday here, with no one to really celebrate it with, its too big of a mile stone to celebrate it here so thus, I will not celebrate it all even though I know everything happens for a reason which I always keep that in the back of my head anyways.
With that said, two decades of living, one year of growing up and realizing the real core to who I am, finding most of myself; happy birthday to me, but I am not happy not until I get what I want and celebrate this how I feel is fit to celebrate…as I should. Its my birthday, I can eat my cake if want to but this year, I don’t want to.
