Week Twenty-Five: Half Way To Fifty
Its been a while since I last wrote one of these updates… not like anybody is listening to my constant whines but yes its been 10 weeks. I guess I have been busy with school, as it will almost be finished for me in May and I am just soo excited, I didn’t even need that course anyways.
My heart is still lonely and though people try to take shots at it or even warm it up, it never seemed to last. I feel I am growing weak, inside, my feelings.. they are just disappearing, I cant seem to give a shit anymore. I try to care, I try to feel passionate for other people but I cant and I blame this place for killing me, who I once was.
If you are a first time reader here, you are probably wondering why I am counting down to 50. Because in 50 weeks, or rather 25, I will be gone off this place once and for all (no jinx) and I will not look back. In 50 25 weeks step one will begin.
I have once thought hard about this blog, I did. It helped me out when I had no one to speak to as I have once talked about that. Recently I came to a decision that I will soon let out. For right now, if you have been reading this from day one, since Dec 2008 then I suggest you keep paying attention to every blog post on here because that decision will soon show its self.
You know I have talked about this many times and I feel like more then ever, I need out, I need out fast because the Shyun Atown you know will be dead all together inside very very soon. You think I’m bad now, keep me imprisoned on this god forsaken place and you will see no care in the world from me…. and they call Sid ‘vicious’.
Oh I don’t mean to sound negative, I assure you I am more positive then I ever was, I am positive about my future but I strongly strongly feel that in order for me to achieve success, I will need off this place… finally and then the greatness will emerge. For now like this blog always once, I have put my negativity on here, not so I can get people talking to me but in order to live a positive life you need to get your negative out so this blog for the past 2 years have been my own therapist but soon all will change.
When will I speak to you again in non cryptic language you ask? well that question is unforeseen at the moment but all I can say is that; this is my journal, this is my story to my life, this is a journey and much much more so into this new year you will witness a change from me.. more good than bad and I hope you accept it because you are getting me, the real me.
Besides this shit hole of place, that I have yet grown to accept after 9 years..Change is coming, change is coming.
